Duct Tape Legs

“Would you pay me five dollars to wax my legs with duct tape?” my cousin asked me a few years ago. It was a family gathering, he had found a roll in the truck, and had obviously noticed that his legs were getting very hairy lately. I didn’t know it at the time, but my twelve-year-old cousin might just have been more brilliant than he seemed back then.

I realize now why he had said this: He really wanted to hurt himself, but was afraid nonetheless, and was seeking an incentive to help him overcome his fear. The man was a genius! We can all learn something from him.

(I declined to become his benefactor, by the way, and he did it anyway—three times. I don’t remember ever having so much fun at a family reunion.)

I recently liked a guy and wanted to call him, but of course was shy about it. There were so many reasons not to: What would his parents think? Would I get him in trouble by calling him? What if he didn’t like me anymore? What was the use—I might as well give up.

But as I sat brooding over these things one day, I thought back to another boy I had fancied years ago, for about a month. When visiting my grandparents during this time, my uncle found his number in a church directory and dared me to call him, right at that moment, and bet me ten bucks that I couldn’t do it. I bought myself something nice that week. (Fortunately the answering machine had saved me—I’m horribly shy on the phone.)

That one flash of reminiscence inspired me. Within an hour I had put together a plan for how to contact him, to get back in touch. Within four days I had executed that plan, and was well on my way.

What can all of this teach us? Most of us are waiting—just waiting for something. We stand on the edge of the cliff and wish that someone would push us off, force us to overcome our own inertia. Why?

Because we’re scared. We just can’t take that one first step. Yet if someone put a gun to our head and forced us to realize our full potential, we would be ever so grateful to that thug.

The question then becomes, how to use the principals of reward and punishment (no, strike that one—we punish ourselves quite enough) to our own advantage?

I am reminded of the three hillbilly brothers on my favorite eighties TV show who had their own business: “Anything for a Buck.” But due to inflation, let’s just raise the price a bit.

Would you wax your legs for five dollars? Would you call someone for ten? If not, why not? If the price is too steep, perhaps you don’t really want to do it after all.

What would you like somebody to dare you to do? Why do you pray for a thug with a gun?

It’s time to start your own “Anything for a Buck” business, but this time you will be doing work pro bono. If you can’t do it for yourself, do it for those you love, to set a good example. You can’t pay a hillbilly to accomplish your dreams for you; this is the real thing. If you don’t do this, who will?

Hopefully, though, for your own sake, you will wax your legs with duct tape only once. (Did he honestly think it would hurt less the second time?)